On Tuesdays and Thursdays I am in class all day and usually when I get home Ashley has cooked dinner for me. So today she cooks me chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn. Perfect dinner for me since I am a meat and potatoes kind of guy. Well for those of you who know me, I don't eat just one plate. Ashley had already gotten her second plate when I got up to get more. Ashley tells me not to eat anymore chicken because she needs it for lunch tomorrow. So I agreed because I am a great guy, so I go to get some mashed potatoes and I put my corn on my mashed potatoes as does Ashley. After putting my corn on top of my mashed potatoes I realized there was only about one spoon full of corn left, so instead of just leaving that left in the pot because Ashley will yell at me for that, I put the last spoon full on my mashed potatoes. When I sit down the conversation starts:
Ashley: "You ate all of the corn didn't you!"
Me: "There was only a spoon full left after I put my corn on my mashed potatoes so I just put the last spoon full on there too."
Ashley: "Now what am I supposed to eat with my chicken tomorrow?"
Me: "There are mashed potatoes in there."
Ashley: "OK, and?"
Me: "You can eat that with your chicken."
Ashley: "I can't believe you did that!"
Me: "Did what? Eat? You told me not to grab anymore chicken, and as hard as that was for me, I didn't. You didn't say anything about the mashed potatoes or the corn. As far as I am concerned they were fair game."
Ashley: "Whatever"
Me: (Pushing the plate towards her) "Here take it and use it for lunch tomorrow. All I am going to do is over eat anyways."
Ashley: "No the mashed potatoes and corn are mixed together."
Me: "OK, and that is how you eat them, so I saved you some labor tomorrow before you eat."
Ashley: "I don't want them mixed already."
Me: "What does it matter?!?! What the corn juice makes the mashed potatoes mushy?!?!"
Ashley: "It's just the point"
If you have absolutely no clue what just happened, that is completely OK because I was in the conversation and still have no clue what happened.
Tip #15: Starve if you are still hungry after your first plate because she might go Saudi Arabia on you and cut your tongue off for eating her leftovers.
And this is when I realized that I only get one serving of food on my journey to, destination... dad.
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