The Nursery: May 7th, 2011

Ashley has been asking when I was going to clean out the extra bedroom where the nursery will be ever since she peed on the stick. I told her we had nine months to worry about that. Then nine months became seven, and now we are at five months and the nursery still has not been cleaned out. It is basically our junk room, like an extra large Flintstone closet.

After Christmas was over it was too much of a hassle for me to take the tree and decorations out to the shed or up to the attic. (Now when I say too much of a hassle I don't mean that it was too hard, I mean it was more like an inconvenience. Like the post-2008 Shaq getting back on defense.) So I instead just put everything in the extra bedroom along with the two TVs that Ashley brought over with her when she moved in. I don't know why we still have these TVs, they arn't old LCD TVs that way a ton. They are like the old Zenith I-got-to-get-up-and-change-the-channel-and-then-adjust-the-rabbit-ears-to-get-a-good-picture TVs. Why do we still have them I do not know. If I tried to give them to the salvation army they would say, "No."
So here we are, five months away from the day, and instead of cleaning out the room I am blogging about it. But I have to say I do my best work when under pressure. I got through 12 years of grade school and six years of college procrastinating. I like to consider myself the king of procrastination. So expect another blog at a later date about Ashley flipping out on me because I still have not cleaned out the room. The blog might even be posted on or around her due date.

Tip #18: Start making plans for the room... NOW!

And this is when I started my Sudoku puzzle when I should have been thinking about the landing on my journey to, destination... dad.

The Snoring: April 20th, 2011

Ever since Ashley starting spending nights at my house she complained about my snoring. In the middle of the night she would shove me to wake me up because my snoring woke her up. If I could I would stop snoring, but nobody has control over that. I would get so mad at her for waking me up when I was obviously in a good state of REM since I was snoring. Well you know what they say about paybacks.

I don't know what causes it but pregnant women snore, or at least my pregnant woman does. But it's not like a Fred Flintstone snore, it's even worse. It is actually heavy breathing with an occasional snort mixed in. This is so much worse because with a traditional snore you know what you are getting. With Ashley's kind of snoring, once I get used to the breathing and am just getting comfortable and ready to fall asleep the snort comes in and makes me jump as if someone just hit me with a defibrillator. I feel like I am sleeping next to a scientist in a Hazmat suit getting ready to check the radiation levels in Chernobyl. (More people would have been able to relate to Japan instead of Chernobyl, but it's just too soon.)

Ashley then realizes that she has developed allergies, which a lot of pregnant women do. So she decides to go buy these breathe right strips to help her breathing. Now lets just say I never really put two and two together with these nasal strips. I just thought it was a great idea because I figured she wouldn't breathe loud while sleeping anymore, but it never clicked that she would actually be wearing the nasal strip. So I come home from work one day to see that my pregnant fiance now looks like NFL middle linebacker Brian Urlacher. I didn't talk back that night in fear she would call an all out blitz and hit me from my blindside.

Tip #16: Your significant other will change throughout her pregnancy... a lot. But whether she becomes a scientist, a linebacker or even your own worst enemy, I promise you will love her more and more every single day no matter what.

And this is when I realized that sleep would not come easy on my journey to, destination... dad.