On your first day of school you walk around with your schedule repeatedly looking at the classroom number on the paper and the classroom numbers next to each door looking for a match, and that is OK because everyone else is doing it too. But come the second day you are walking down the hallway like you know where you are going with no paper in hand, cool and collected. When really you are doing nothing but repeating the classroom numbers in your head hoping you didn't mix two classroom numbers together and be that guy who walks into the wrong classroom, does the awkward stutter step, and walks out of the classroom hoping no one saw you even after you heard the laughter coming from the classroom while you walked away. That was me at the OBGYN for the second time. I walked in like I knew what I was doing, had the expression like "been here done that", knew where to sit, what magazines to pick up and read, but really in my head I was coaching myself through every step, even breathing. I was like a duck in a lake, on the surface everything is calm but underwater my feet are going crazy. But luckily 'The Crisis' is not about me this time, it's about Ashley not gaining any weight.
Yes, the crisis is Ashley did not gain any weight since her last OBGYN appointment, she actually lost a pound. Now why is this a crisis you ask? That is an excellent question, I do not know if it was necessarily a crisis for Ashley but she made it a crisis for me. That night after the OBGYN visit Ashley wanted to go to Sam's Club, and we bought over $200 worth of groceries! Ashley thought she wasn't eating right, she thought she was malnutrition since she had lost a pound. So we bought a cow, a pig, and a chicken coop along with a fruit and vegetable garden. I felt like we were starting Noah's Ark at home.
Tip #9: Cancel your membership to Sam's Club until after the first trimester is over.
And this is when I hit turbulence on my journey to, destination... dad.
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