Waking up to my alarm clock and not the telephone ring in my room was a blessing. The nurse told me that she would call me if there was any news to report. So for once in my life, the alarm clock was great to hear so early in the morning. I immediately got up and went to see Kherington, according to the nurses she was doing good, her plasma levels were up, and there was no need to use safacton, nor do they think they will have too. They also believe that her lung has clotted up more and there is very little to no bleeding. I immediately called Ashley and told her the good news. She was being released that day and would be meeting me at CHKD as soon as she could.
When Ashley got there, it was so great to see her, and it was very emotional. Ashley checked in and we headed up to the NICU to go see our baby girl. When Ashley walked into the rooom she was so pissed that she had to take 5 minutes to wash and scrub because she could see Kherington the entire time. Kherington was still in the glass box and we still couldn't touch her. But we could talk to her. I know she was so happy to hear her mother's voice.
It was noon and all signs were still good. The doctor came in and said that the test results came back positive and she looks like she got through the worst. She of course will still have to stay for some time to be monitored to make sure everything stays okay, but he said that she will be able to be taken out of the box and we will be able to hold her!
I have just witnessed the amazing strength of my daughter. She was not even one day old yet and I already realized she was more stubborn than I am.
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The Aftermath: September 28, 2011
After Kherington got cleaned up and had a couple of tests done, I was able to hold her for the first time. It seemed as if the entire world just stopped. I held her in my arms and just stared at her while she was cuddled up and asleep in her blanket. I just couldn't believe that this actually happened, I am now a father, officially! I created her!
Ashley was going to try and breast feed for the first time, so I decided I was going to go home take a shower and get some things. Upon my return Ashley had been moved into another, smaller, room and we were just waiting for them to bring Kherington back. A couple of my friends had arrived and we were just waiting in the room when the pediatrician came in and asked to speak with the family alone. My friends stepped out of the room, closing the door behind them. The pediatrician told us that while they were giving Kherington a bath they noticed she was turning blue. Upon further evaluation they found that Kherington wasn't getting the proper oxygen she needed. Adults require only 20% of the air they breathe in to be oxygen. The problem was Kherington was requiring that air to be 80% oxygen, which is impossible to obtain from our atmosphere. So basically she was slowly suffocating. During these tests they also found that she had blood in her lung, and found that she was in fact STILL bleeding into her lung. The doctor told us that they are preparing her for transport to Children's Hospital of the King's Daughter (CHKD) where she could get the proper care and monitoring.
After the doctor left the room I completely lost it. I was planning on holding my daughter all night long while watching the Cardinals play. I had my whole night planned out. Was going to spend as much time with her as I possibly could. I was going to enjoy OUR first Cardinals game together. But now my worry of the night goes from "will the Cardinals win and get into the playoffs" to "will Kherington survive and will I get to be a dad?"
I started asking Ashley, "Why? Why is this happening to us? What did we do wrong?! All the drug addicts and prostitutes that have healthy babies when they don't lead healthy lives and here we are, two parents ready to give this child the best life and all the love they could possibly ask for and we are the unfortunate ones?"
My friends are already at the hospital, and I called my parents immediately to tell them. Of course, at a time when I need my parents to lean on more than anything, there is a terrible thunderstorm and the streets are flooding. Making it take forever for them to get there. Guess God was testing my strength.
Ashley was going to try and breast feed for the first time, so I decided I was going to go home take a shower and get some things. Upon my return Ashley had been moved into another, smaller, room and we were just waiting for them to bring Kherington back. A couple of my friends had arrived and we were just waiting in the room when the pediatrician came in and asked to speak with the family alone. My friends stepped out of the room, closing the door behind them. The pediatrician told us that while they were giving Kherington a bath they noticed she was turning blue. Upon further evaluation they found that Kherington wasn't getting the proper oxygen she needed. Adults require only 20% of the air they breathe in to be oxygen. The problem was Kherington was requiring that air to be 80% oxygen, which is impossible to obtain from our atmosphere. So basically she was slowly suffocating. During these tests they also found that she had blood in her lung, and found that she was in fact STILL bleeding into her lung. The doctor told us that they are preparing her for transport to Children's Hospital of the King's Daughter (CHKD) where she could get the proper care and monitoring.
After the doctor left the room I completely lost it. I was planning on holding my daughter all night long while watching the Cardinals play. I had my whole night planned out. Was going to spend as much time with her as I possibly could. I was going to enjoy OUR first Cardinals game together. But now my worry of the night goes from "will the Cardinals win and get into the playoffs" to "will Kherington survive and will I get to be a dad?"
I started asking Ashley, "Why? Why is this happening to us? What did we do wrong?! All the drug addicts and prostitutes that have healthy babies when they don't lead healthy lives and here we are, two parents ready to give this child the best life and all the love they could possibly ask for and we are the unfortunate ones?"
My friends are already at the hospital, and I called my parents immediately to tell them. Of course, at a time when I need my parents to lean on more than anything, there is a terrible thunderstorm and the streets are flooding. Making it take forever for them to get there. Guess God was testing my strength.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
The Pictures: September 3rd, 2011
Ashley wanted to get pregnancy pictures done but I hate having my picture taken since I am wanted in three states (not really but that's always my excuse). So I decided that I would bypass my need for Ashley's need (what a great fiance I am!). She set up an appointment for 8am on a Saturday morning, and we were late.
Ashley bought me a button down shirt to wear for the pictures, I didn't complain because I got a new button down out of the deal. Well I went to iron it that morning and asked Ashley to plug the iron in so it can get hot while I showered. So after I shower I start ironing my shirt and it is taking forever, the wrinkles are not coming out! So I ironed that shirt for about 15 minutes until I decided to feel the iron, it was cold. Ashley plugged it in but didn't turn it on. So I wasn't ironing my shirt I was just flattening it out.
We arrived at the picture place at 8:14 a.m. and a big fat gay guy who looked like Cam from Modern Family told us if we had arrived one more minute later we would have had to reschedule, but what he doesn't know is there wouldn't have been a rescheduling, because I only agree to do this once.
We got pictures with her ODU bib and more importantly with Jonny bear. Ashley loves all of the pictures and we ended up buying way too many of them. Fortunately we have enough friends and family who love us and will help find a wall to hang them all on.
Tip #36: I hate having my picture taken and no matter how bad my fake smile is, Ive never loved any pictures more than these. Get them taken if you have the chance.
And this is when I just kept looking at the same pictures over and over again wasting time until my landing on my journey to, destination... dad.
Ashley bought me a button down shirt to wear for the pictures, I didn't complain because I got a new button down out of the deal. Well I went to iron it that morning and asked Ashley to plug the iron in so it can get hot while I showered. So after I shower I start ironing my shirt and it is taking forever, the wrinkles are not coming out! So I ironed that shirt for about 15 minutes until I decided to feel the iron, it was cold. Ashley plugged it in but didn't turn it on. So I wasn't ironing my shirt I was just flattening it out.
We arrived at the picture place at 8:14 a.m. and a big fat gay guy who looked like Cam from Modern Family told us if we had arrived one more minute later we would have had to reschedule, but what he doesn't know is there wouldn't have been a rescheduling, because I only agree to do this once.
We got pictures with her ODU bib and more importantly with Jonny bear. Ashley loves all of the pictures and we ended up buying way too many of them. Fortunately we have enough friends and family who love us and will help find a wall to hang them all on.
Tip #36: I hate having my picture taken and no matter how bad my fake smile is, Ive never loved any pictures more than these. Get them taken if you have the chance.
And this is when I just kept looking at the same pictures over and over again wasting time until my landing on my journey to, destination... dad.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
The Memento: August 21, 2011
Whether you are reading baby apps for the iPhone, parenting magazines, or different websites, they all tell you that you should start thinking of a memento to have for when your baby gets older, to show them the experience and journey that you as parents went through during the nine months of pregnancy. Looking back, I am glad that I started this blog because what better way for my daughter to understand the loads of crap that her daddy went through while mommy was pregnant than a truthful, don't hold nothing back, tell it like I see it blog!
How will Kherington act when she grows up and reads this blog? I don't know. She might laugh a little bit, maybe shed a tear, smile from ear to ear occasionally, say, "Daaaad?" like she can't believe that I actually put whatever she is reading on the Internet for the whole world to read, or she might vomit on the keyboard while my blog builds pictures in her head she doesn't want to see and always hoped to never imagine. I don't know how she will react, but either way I think she will love it, just as much as I love her.
Tip #34: Think of a really good memento, one that will be around forever. But think of it early in the pregnancy and build on it, don't start whatever it is just in the final weeks.
And this is when I took a step back and really started to admire what I was doing on my journey to, destination... dad.
How will Kherington act when she grows up and reads this blog? I don't know. She might laugh a little bit, maybe shed a tear, smile from ear to ear occasionally, say, "Daaaad?" like she can't believe that I actually put whatever she is reading on the Internet for the whole world to read, or she might vomit on the keyboard while my blog builds pictures in her head she doesn't want to see and always hoped to never imagine. I don't know how she will react, but either way I think she will love it, just as much as I love her.
Tip #34: Think of a really good memento, one that will be around forever. But think of it early in the pregnancy and build on it, don't start whatever it is just in the final weeks.
And this is when I took a step back and really started to admire what I was doing on my journey to, destination... dad.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Bear: July 9th, 2011
As I have discussed in previous posts, the unfortunate tragedy of Ashley's nephew, is starting to weigh on me more and more everyday, but not like it has been and will weigh on Ashley (no pun intended). It will weigh on Ashley after Kherington is born and when she is sleeping because she will worry about the same thing happening to her that did Jonny. Which is the reason I am leaving the couch in the nursery, that way Ashley can sleep in the room when she wants too. But all of this is weighing on me now. I started thinking how can Kherington learn about her cousin Jonny other than what we will tell her? How can she start loving her cousin that she will never meet from the moment she is first born? I am a very big family person and these things bother me. Kherington will have two older cousins on my side of the family but I don't want her to think that they are the only cousins she has. Just because Jonny is no longer with us doesn't mean she can't love him just as much if not more. So I started to think of different ideas, ways that would get Kherington's attention and help her grow that affection towards Jonny that I want her to have. And then it hit me.
So this morning I told Ashley to get dressed because I needed to take her somewhere. She asked where and I told her it was a surprise and to not ask questions. I had just recently started a new job and was obsessed with buying new clothes for work. So when we pulled up to the mall and I parked in Macy's, Ashley looks at me and says, "I swear to God if your idea of a surprise is to bring me to Macy's so you can go shopping I am going to walk home." I laughed and told her we were here for something else but that was a good idea on how to trick you for future reference. I told her to just follow me and to continue to not ask questions. We walk through the mall and of course Ashley keeps asking questions. I grab her hand and pull her into Build-A-Bear.
My thinking was that all kids love stuffed animals, and usually if you introduce a child to one animal at a young age then they will have a special connection with that one specific stuffed animal forever. It becomes the stuffed animal that they can't go to sleep without or the stuffed animal that has to have its own seat at the dinner table, and then becomes the stuffed animal your parents put into a shadow box for you when you graduate from high school. Every kid had either a stuffed animal or a blanket when growing up, and what better way to establish an emotional connection to Jonny then to create a bear in his memory, get a birth certificate with his name on it and have him waiting in Kherington's room for her to arrive.
Right now Jonny bear is sitting in Kherington's room protecting it for when she comes home. He is currently filling her room with his love so when we take her in their for the first time she will know that her big cousin will always be watching over her, for the rest of her life.
Tip #27: Make everything you do about love, because in the end he or she will be able to feel the love that you put into the place that he or she now calls home.
And this is when I started picking up gifts for the family during my layovers on my journey to, destination... dad.
So this morning I told Ashley to get dressed because I needed to take her somewhere. She asked where and I told her it was a surprise and to not ask questions. I had just recently started a new job and was obsessed with buying new clothes for work. So when we pulled up to the mall and I parked in Macy's, Ashley looks at me and says, "I swear to God if your idea of a surprise is to bring me to Macy's so you can go shopping I am going to walk home." I laughed and told her we were here for something else but that was a good idea on how to trick you for future reference. I told her to just follow me and to continue to not ask questions. We walk through the mall and of course Ashley keeps asking questions. I grab her hand and pull her into Build-A-Bear.
My thinking was that all kids love stuffed animals, and usually if you introduce a child to one animal at a young age then they will have a special connection with that one specific stuffed animal forever. It becomes the stuffed animal that they can't go to sleep without or the stuffed animal that has to have its own seat at the dinner table, and then becomes the stuffed animal your parents put into a shadow box for you when you graduate from high school. Every kid had either a stuffed animal or a blanket when growing up, and what better way to establish an emotional connection to Jonny then to create a bear in his memory, get a birth certificate with his name on it and have him waiting in Kherington's room for her to arrive.
Right now Jonny bear is sitting in Kherington's room protecting it for when she comes home. He is currently filling her room with his love so when we take her in their for the first time she will know that her big cousin will always be watching over her, for the rest of her life.
Tip #27: Make everything you do about love, because in the end he or she will be able to feel the love that you put into the place that he or she now calls home.
And this is when I started picking up gifts for the family during my layovers on my journey to, destination... dad.
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