The Bear: July 9th, 2011

As I have discussed in previous posts, the unfortunate tragedy of Ashley's nephew, is starting to weigh on me more and more everyday, but not like it has been and will weigh on Ashley (no pun intended). It will weigh on Ashley after Kherington is born and when she is sleeping because she will worry about the same thing happening to her that did Jonny. Which is the reason I am leaving the couch in the nursery, that way Ashley can sleep in the room when she wants too. But all of this is weighing on me now. I started thinking how can Kherington learn about her cousin Jonny other than what we will tell her? How can she start loving her cousin that she will never meet from the moment she is first born? I am a very big family person and these things bother me. Kherington will have two older cousins on my side of the family but I don't want her to think that they are the only cousins she has. Just because Jonny is no longer with us doesn't mean she can't love him just as much if not more. So I started to think of different ideas, ways that would get Kherington's attention and help her grow that affection towards Jonny that I want her to have. And then it hit me.

So this morning I told Ashley to get dressed because I needed to take her somewhere. She asked where and I told her it was a surprise and to not ask questions. I had just recently started a new job and was obsessed with buying new clothes for work. So when we pulled up to the mall and I parked in Macy's, Ashley looks at me and says, "I swear to God if your idea of a surprise is to bring me to Macy's so you can go shopping I am going to walk home." I laughed and told her we were here for something else but that was a good idea on how to trick you for future reference. I told her to just follow me and to continue to not ask questions. We walk through the mall and of course Ashley keeps asking questions. I grab her hand and pull her into Build-A-Bear.

My thinking was that all kids love stuffed animals, and usually if you introduce a child to one animal at a young age then they will have a special connection with that one specific stuffed animal forever. It becomes the stuffed animal that they can't go to sleep without or the stuffed animal that has to have its own seat at the dinner table, and then becomes the stuffed animal your parents put into a shadow box for you when you graduate from high school. Every kid had either a stuffed animal or a blanket when growing up, and what better way to establish an emotional connection to Jonny then to create a bear in his memory, get a birth certificate with his name on it and have him waiting in Kherington's room for her to arrive.

Right now Jonny bear is sitting in Kherington's room protecting it for when she comes home. He is currently filling her room with his love so when we take her in their for the first time she will know that her big cousin will always be watching over her, for the rest of her life.

Tip #27: Make everything you do about love, because in the end he or she will be able to feel the love that you put into the place that he or she now calls home.

And this is when I started picking up gifts for the family during my layovers on my journey to, destination... dad.